Dear Mr. Carlos Slim Helu,

Now that I finally have my phone and internet back I should probably apologize for unleashing the wrath and hunting/stalking skills of my wife, A.K.A. La Gringa, upon your poor customer services reps, service and account managers, and technicians. I know the move was drastic and your technicians may have even feared for their lives as she stalked them night and day in attempts to get them to the house for repair. It’s not an excuse, I know it was wrong, but when you get on her bad side she tends to be a bit like spider monkey jacked up on gallons of expresso and Boost, you just can’t shake her off you. However, in all fairness Sir, you brought it on yourself.

You see when we suddenly and without explanation lost all hardline and wireless services on Tuesday morning I went through all the correct steps. I first checked with my neighbors to see if they, too, were experiencing a loss in services, which they assured me they had not. I then used my Telcel (which you also happen to own and will surely charge me the 43 minutes I was left on hold and transfered from department to department after dialing 050 to report the incident) mobile and waited patiently, even after having 4 of my first 6 calls dropped, for a customer service rep.

I do have to admit I had my doubts, but after finally getting through your new menu and reporting my case to Ms. Alejandra Garcia and being assured a technician would arrive in no more than 48 hours I was convinced all would work out, this time.

The first 24 hours went by without a hitch. Of course the kids felt as if they were dying without messenger and facebook, but we managed. The second 24 hours were a bit rougher as my wife suddenly realized we were losing money not being able to receive or return client calls and emails, work our part-time internet jobs or even check our bills which come and are paid via internet. Still though, no big deal, a techie would be at our door any moment to solve the problem, right? Wrong.

After 72 hours of waiting patiently, I knew we’d been duped by Telmex, again. (You probably think we forgot how last year we were without a line for 8 days and the year before that for almost 4 weeks, which you still attempted to charge me for, but we didn’t).

I was angry, but wanting to be the bigger person, I still played fair. I dialed 050 from my cellphone again, listened to the eternal menu again, spoke to a customer service rep again, and promptly had my call transferred back to the menu again. You people obviously want to play hardball.

I went back through the menu until I heard Complaints and Suggestions then pressed 4 and waited. Imagine my surprise when customer service rep Sandra Almaguer asked me kindly if I had a pen to notate the new number where I could actually place a complaint or give a suggestion. Obviously the Complaint and Suggestion department of Telmex is where the represenative will in essence suggest you take your complaint and stick so far up your arse even the most potent communications signal known to man would fail to reach you.

I understand Mr. Slim that you are a very busy man. Buying up large parts of the world’s businesses and stocks requires great attention, I’m sure. I also understand that I do not earn even close to your 2006 reported $5,479,452 an hour, but do understand that I too need to earn my beans; and sadly, I need your services to do it.

So please, as you earn your billions even in sleep, think about us, the ‘little people’ who need you to revise your service management. In return, I promise to call off my wife.

Sincerely,

Oscar Villanueva Estrada and Family